I’ve recently kicked my prayers into high gear when it comes to marriage. I’ve been hoping and praying for it for years but it’s only now that I’ve come to that place of also trusting God about it.
There are many views when it comes to waiting on God for marriage:
1. Just wait for it. It’ll come. No need to do anything. You don’t find it. It comes when you least expect it.
My problem with this view is it’s passivity. Of course, you pray about it and trust God but you can’t expect Him to just drop it on your lap. There’s His role and there’s my role. It’s just like praying about finding a new job. You can’t expect a call if you haven’t submitted resumes and gone to interviews right? You have to do your part as well and leave everything else to God.
I’m reminded of this story from Eat, Pray, Love. There was a man who’s been praying to God to win the lottery. Everyday he would pray, Lord, Lord please let me win the lottery. Finally, one day God answers him: OK, but buy a ticket first.
Again, I refer to the term ‘stepping out in faith’. I expect and believe that God will hear me and guide me as I meet new guys and start dating.
2. Jesus is your husband. Just focus on Him and it will come.
Of course, this isn’t entirely wrong. Jesus is the groom and the bride is the Church. We ARE His bride. And it’s also true that we must focus all our being on Him – soul, mind, body and strength – til other people become mere shadows in light of who He is. But if we give off that impression to others that we’re in this super holy season of just between Jesus and me, then they might find this intimidating and may not want to disrupt this season for you.
It all boils down to what God is leading you to in this moment – whether to stay still or to move into action.
3. You shouldn’t want to get married, then maybe it’ll come.
This comes as a guilt feeling that wanting it is bad and you should feel content and happy to be single.
Enjoy whatever season you’re in, whether single or married, no doubt about that. But there is such a thing as holy discontent that leaves room for improvement. If our intentions for getting married is pure, that is to honor God and fulfill His will, then wanting marriage is not a bad thing. The danger is wanting it too much. Then it becomes an idol and that’s another thing you’d have to settle in your heart.
Marriage is a good thing. No less God designed it for His enjoyment and ours. But not everyone is called to it. It’s a gift, a blessing as with anything that He entrusts us with. Some are handed the gift of singleness, some with the gift of marriage. It’s all dependent on His will, that which will purify us and prepare us for eternity with Him. And marriage is not a passport to those pearly gates. A personal relationship with Him is, through Christ. Everything else is secondary.