Recently, a new guy friend has come into my life and has caused my prayers to go on overdrive, not that it hasn’t already been. Let me reiterate that: Guy friend. We’re friends. His situation is a bit complicated. I met him a few days before he left for a different city and now he’s based abroad. Before he left though, he let me know his intentions and told me that he would come back and pursue me. Sweet? Reminded me of military men going off to battle and leaving their ladies behind wondering when they would see each other again, if at all.
Being the thinker and analyzer that I am, I’ve twisted and turned it over in my head a million times whether he is the guy for me. Can I wait for him? There’s so many things to consider and the fact that he’s away leaves enough room to doubt whether I’m just waiting in vain.
I’ve read so many resources on dating and marriage, not to mention seeking God’s wisdom on this. I thought I had things figured out. But I find myself faltering on the vision I’ve set for my life and the mission God has for me.
So here is my simple attempt to pen down my Mission (following the Master-Mission-Mate flow) and answer that question of whether he is the guy God has prepared for me.
My Mission: A reflection on Proverbs 31
- To be the woman God has intended me to be
- To be a supportive and loving wife – a helpmate and lifegiver, gaining my husband’s full confidence (v.10-12)
- To create a warm and hospitable environment for my family – biological and spiritual (v.13-15, 27)
- To have some knowledge in business and investments that I may be able to help my husband and multiply what God has entrusted to me (v.16-18)
- To serve alongside my husband in ministry – lead a small group and counsel women (v.26)
- To act with kindness and compassion towards those in need – set aside an offerings fund (v.20)
- To budget our finances well and be prepared for all occasions (v.21-22, 25)
- To raise up my children in the fear of the Lord and possibly homeschool them (v.28)
With God as my only priority, He directs my path to prioritize the rest in this order: (1) my husband, (2) my family, (3) work, (4) ministry.
With my Mission secure in place, this is the nugget of wisdom I’ve gathered in choosing a Mate:
Choose a mate who will allow you to fulfill your Mission.
- Will who he is help me be the woman God has intended me to be? Do our characters, strengths, weaknesses complement each other?
- Will who he is help me be a supportive and loving wife? Will he prioritize our marriage as much as I will? Will I be able to submit to his leadership?
- Will who he is help me create a warm and loving home? Will he take an active role in raising up our children? Will he help out in areas that I find difficulty in?
- Will I be able to support the work that he chooses? Do I respect how he makes business/work decisions? Do I respect how he handles his finances?
- What is the ministry he is called to serve? Is it the same as mine?
- How does he feel about giving? Investing in God’s work?
These are only some of the Mission-Mate questions that I aim to explore once I and the guy, or other possible potential suitors, get to know each other. Each one will have a different Mission and so have different criteria for their Mate.
We may settle on peripheral areas such as background, looks, interests but don’t settle for someone who won’t allow you to be all that God has intended you to be.
You are you and God has great plans for you. Choose God’s best.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30